I saw Frozen 2 over the weekend and while some had warned me that it was grief heavy, I was not warned about the major character transitions that happened in the movie and shook me to my core.
Without spoiling anything, I was deep into my feelings towards the end of the movie. I don’t normally cry in movies – I’m usually too deep in my head to feel the feels. But when Kristoff looked at Anna after she apologized for something and he said, “It’s ok – my love is not fragile,” my throat tightened and strained with the effort to keep the wail bubbling up from my chest at bay.
My love is not fragile.
I wasn’t expecting it. I didn’t see it coming. I held tight to my youngest son who was sitting in my lap and I ducked my head down. When I cry, it’s ugly. And trying not to cry? Well, that just makes it worse. I nearly choked trying to breathe deeply while tears burned my eyes.
Because of that? Oh my God, I felt that. And it empowered me.
When I was younger, I watched Love Story and I always felt confused when the main character said, “love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Because of what? I feel like when you love someone, it should be easy to say sorry. But Frozen 2 nailed it – love isn’t fragile. When the person you love does something you don’t understand, your love can still survive. When you are struggling and confused and you don’t know what’s going on or what direction to go in – if your love isn’t fragile, it will see you through it.
My husband and I have been together for 13 years and we’ve had our fair share of ups and downs – just like most. And we stick it out together because our love isn’t fragile. It’s a living breathing thing that sustains not only us but also our children. It’s an energy we tap into when we don’t know how or if we can keep going.
We have both been doing a lot of self-work lately and our most recent work has revolved around being responsible for our own feelings. Lifelong people-pleasers, one of the most powerful and reassuring things we can say to one another right now is, “that is not your responsibility. I’m responsible for my feelings – I see you and your concern and I love you but I got this.”
But Kristoff? He nailed it. What we’re really saying is our love is not fragile.
It doesn’t turn off and on at will. It’s there when one of us does something hurtful to the other – whether intentional or not. It’s there when one of us is sick or busy. It’s there when one of us just cannot with the kids right now. It loves through thoughtlessness, carelessness, mistakes, human error, life. It is not fragile. In fact, any attack upon it makes it stronger somehow.
That moment for me was so significant. To hear a male Disney character reassure his love interest so wholly and respectfully – I’m literally breathless thinking about it. What will the impact be when we show kids that love doesn’t have to be conditional or fragile?