Freshman Year and Beyond :: Things I Wish I Knew Before My Daughter’s Freshman Year of College
Why does it go by so fast? Looking back at our daughter’s academic career and life before college, it all happened pretty quick. Twenty-one years ago, we all set out on an adventure to places unknown. There were ups and downs, days that seemed to last for weeks but now, it’s gone. Memories. Let me tell you, post grad-high school goes much faster than any other stage of life. Your child has probably moved out of your home. Out of sight, out of mind is a real thing. You are no longer involved in their day to day routines, and even if they are local, the check-ins certainly aren’t as frequent as they were when everyone lived under one roof. I feel like we moved my daughter Morgan into her freshman dorm a year ago … nope, it’s been 3 full years.
Speaking of moving, dorm life ends eventually. I distinctly remember a phone call in October of Morgan’s freshman year. “Mom! We have to find an apartment for next year. They fill up fast and the longer you wait, the more expensive rent is.” I thought she was just excited and getting ahead of herself. After some research, she wasn’t wrong. We signed a lease for the 24-25 school year in November of 2023! Each town is different but I can tell you with certainty, that Baton Rouge / LSU / BRCC / Southern … the game is the same. Tour the complex, find where you are comfortable, get roommates on board and sign a lease ASAP because next week your proposed rent will increase another $25 a month. It is an absolute RACKET.
I realized that the apartment hunting with her friends and without me was the start of Morgan’s growing independence. Sure, she was managing her own life away from home but at a slow pace. Venturing out to explore her new city, walking around campus a little later than I’d hoped 😉, planning living arrangements on her own seemed like an adult activity. News flash Mom: she’s almost there. Her wing span was growing and it was fun to watch.
With the span of her wings growing comes choices, wins and loses. I want you all to know that college isn’t always four years. Class choices that end in changed majors add time. Or maybe, a stacked schedule that allows for early graduation. Every student has a different path. It’s important that your student knows that diligence is important but their path isn’t cookie-cutter. Enjoy the experience, make good choices, and work hard.
Parents, baring any massive mistakes or hiccups, this means you also have to let it go. Take every step in stride, even if it’s one step backwards. Life comes with peaks and valleys, and it’s important to remember that each high and low builds character, and both are important in the development of each person. I know a lot of people that had it all figured out, but I also know a lot of people that didn’t and their journey took a little longer or went in a completely different direction. Just remember, even if your student’s path isn’t one you would have chosen, it’s important to keep the lines of communication open and to know that they are searching for their forever the same we we did (and in some cases, still are).
I run across one of Morgan’s friends from time to time online. Since graduating from college, he has ventured out into the real world of internships, studying for his post-graduate certification tests, and finding a “grown-up” job. He’s taken to social media to document his journey and one video stands out to me. He specifically mentions “nobody has it figured out” so don’t be discouraged if you don’t. He thought that the day after he graduated there would be some magic spell would cast over him and his life would fall into place but in actuality, no one actually knows what they are doing and I couldn’t agree more.
In the famous words of Ferris Bueller, “Life comes at you fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” Student or parent, embrace these words because they couldn’t be more true.
