Leading While Loving :: The Unique Balance of Being Both Coach and Mom featuring Courtney Gothe

Leading While Loving :: The Unique Balance of Being Both Coach and Mom featuring Courtney Gothe

There is a certain kind of strength that comes with being a sports mom. Then there is a completely different kind of strength that comes from being both a sports mom and a coach at the same time. One role asks you to protect your child. The other asks you to prepare them for life. For Courtney Gothe, those two roles are constantly working together.

While many parents watch their children grow through sports from the sidelines, Courtney experiences it from a much different perspective. She is responsible for helping young athletes develop while also guiding her own sons into manhood. It is a role that has stretched her, challenged her, and changed her in ways she never expected.

Learning to Slow Down

“Motherhood through sports taught me to be patient,” Courtney says. “It taught me not to rush anything and to stay focused on what is right in front of me.”

As parents, it can be easy to focus on what comes next. Courtney has learned that some of the most important growth happens when we stop trying to fast forward. “Sports gave me a family,” she says. “A team of moms who look out for not only your child, but for you as a woman too.” That kind of support carries weight because sports can be emotionally demanding for parents too.

The Kids Are Carrying More Than We Realize

One thing Courtney wishes more people understood is how much today’s young athletes are carrying.

“These kids get tired,” she says. “Sports can be like a job sometimes. You wake up early, go to school all day, just to get out of school and clock in and lock in.”

As both a coach and a mother, she has a front row seat to the work that often goes unnoticed. By the time these kids arrive at practice, they have already spent an entire day balancing responsibilities, expectations, and the normal ups and downs that come with being teenagers.

That perspective has also changed the way she views their emotions during competition.

“Sometimes when the score is not in their favor, frustration can be seen, but the passion is sometimes mistaken for aggression and anger.”

Instead of immediately labeling those emotions as a problem, Courtney believes adults have a responsibility to help young athletes understand what they are feeling and teach them how to respond in healthy ways.

“We have to guide them to learn how to channel those emotions while staying focused and locked in.”

It is one of the advantages of seeing sports through both lenses. She understands that these are not just athletes performing in a game. They are still kids who are learning how to handle pressure, disappointment, and high expectations all at the same time.

The Thin Line Between Coach and Mom

“There is a very thin line between being a sports mom and being a coach,” Courtney says.

Balancing those roles is not always easy. Like any mom, there are moments when she wants to step in and rescue her child. Instead, she reminds herself that those difficult moments are often where growth happens.

“I won’t lie, sometimes it’s hard to bite my tongue and I want to rescue my baby. But in that moment, I know he’s learning and growing into the young man I am shaping him to become.”

To keep those roles separate, she has created a simple rule for herself. “The best way I balance it is being a coach when we’re between 94 feet and being a mom anytime outside of that.” No matter where she is standing, one thing never changes.

“I will always be a mother first and nothing, not even basketball, can take that away from me.”

I had the opportunity to see Courtney in two very different roles. Mom Courtney is energetic and her boys never have to wonder if she is in the building. Coach Courtney is poised, attentive, and expects the very best from her players. You can tell she understands every aspect of the game and uses that knowledge to help young athletes grow.

One of my favorite memories was watching her at one of her sons’ games when she was there simply as Mom. We laughed the entire game as she cheered, danced, and recorded every moment. For that hour, she put the whistle away and was fully present as her son’s biggest fan. I think that is what makes Courtney so special. She knows when to coach and when to simply be Mom.

Looking Back With Gratitude

Looking back, one lesson stands out to Courtney more than any other. Time waits on no one.

“When my kids first started sports they were tiny kids, just out running and having fun. I often wish we could go back and sit in that time and just watch them fall in love with sports all over again.”

Today, both of her sons stand over six feet tall, making those early memories even more meaningful.

While she is proud of the programs she has helped build and the mentors she has learned from as a coach, her favorite moments as a mom are much simpler.

“Watching my kids smile, hearing them laugh, and meeting people that we now call family to this day.”

Her Advice for Sports Moms

If Courtney could leave sports moms with one piece of advice, it would be simple.

“Keep going. If your child loves it and is having fun, keep going.”

Courtney spends a lot of time teaching, correcting, and encouraging. She knows when to push and when to step back. That balance may not always be easy, but she has figured out something many of us are still learning. The game is not asking her to choose between being a coach and being a mother. It is simply reminding her which role matters most.

Mom.