Making Space for YOU as You Manage the Mother Load

To the mamas lost in the woods of quarantine… this one’s for you.

And to the ones daydreaming of escaping into the actual woods to live with the wolves (or the Saint Street coyotes at least) instead of the wild human creatures that have taken over your life and sanity… this one’s for you, too.

Grab a journal, mama. We’re about the get real.

I know. The kids never stop talking. Like ever. Somehow you’re already out of snacks, and real question: has your husband always chewed like that? The herd is restless. There’s a storm brewing in the living room. And mom just needs a minute.

Now Is SO Not the Time

If ever, a global pandemic is certainly the best time to pull the “but how?” card.

How could I possibly make time for myself and my emotional wellness right now?? Don’t you see what’s happening in this house? And didn’t you hear? Life as we know it is cancelled.

You’re right. Now is not a convenient time to do anything except maybe those home improvement projects you’ve been putting off. And yes, by home improvement projects I do mean streaming Tiger King.

But the truth is, you don’t do your inner work because it’s convenient, fun or easy. You do it because it’s necessary. You do it because it builds resilience and empowers you to create the life you want instead of being dragged around by the one you have.

So, if you’re ready for more of that energy… and less “When is the circus leaving town so I can feel like myself again??” vibes, let’s dive in.

YOUR GUIDED JOURNALING PRACTICE FOR SANITY AND JOY

I want you to take a few deep breaths in through the nose and out through the nose, filling up the lower belly and the back of your lungs… feel your face soften and your collar bones smile as you gently tuck your chin and lengthen your spine. Notice the breath as it spreads through your body. Now let your edges melt into rest.

Just be here for a few breaths. You can imagine you’re being held in a bubble of warm golden light if that feels good. When you feel ready, grab your pen and explore these questions in your journal.

LET’S GET REAL

Am I truly allowing myself to want what I really want? Or do I feel like the things I desire are silly, selfish, grandiose, trivial, unrealistic or unimportant?

Do I feel like my family will still have what they need if I have what I want? Or does it feel like an either/or sort of deal?

Do I feel like I’m allowed to ask for what I want? Is it really that it’s not possible for me to have what I want/need? Or is it more that I’m just afraid to have it or ask for it?

Am I afraid of taking up too much space or being too much: too sensitive? Too needy? Too incapable of dealing with the things I’m supposed to be able to deal with? Too not enough?

What might change in my life if I’m truly happy? Will I still feel accepted by the mom community if I’m not struggling at least a little bit? How is it serving me to be chronically depleted, overwhelmed and losing my mind? Will I still belong if I am whole, fulfilled and radiant?

Write until you feel like everything murky, scary or shameful about having what you want feels like it’s on the page instead of swimming in your gut. Let the emotions move through you if you feel them bubble up. No judgment. No fixing. No analyzing. Just dump it all onto the page, stay curious and feel what you feel.

Now that all the weirdness is out in the daylight and you’re probably feeling a little more free, I have one last prompt.

What do you want? What good things might happen if you have it? What might be possible if you were less overwhelmed and more alive? What might life look like five, ten, 50 years down the road if you started honoring your desires now instead of later?

Write it down. Let yourself daydream. Really roll around in it for a while. Let your desire fill you up and turn you on. Notice how allowing yourself to have desires brings you back to life and floods your body with everything you’ve been needing.

Cheers to making space for your happiness, mama. Remember, as you manage everyone else’s needs, drama and snack requests today… You matter. Your wellbeing matters. And you deserve everything good. Even now, especially now.

LaurenVenable
Lauren Venable is a single mama and somatic meditation teacher living in Lafayette. You’ll hear her joke often, “Thank God I meditate for a living!” as she juggles her 2 elderly yet somehow still wild Boston Terriers, navigates the endless chatter and relentless curiosity of her Kindergartener, and brings her own meandering mind back to the task at hand (instead of the butterfly that just passed.) She’s a sucker for spontaneous adventures and is rocking a solid 70% success rate with her house plants. Her struggles with divorce, postpartum depression/anxiety, and the general overwhelm of motherhood have cracked her wide open and offered such rich soil for personal growth that she now helps other moms manage the motherload, too. You can find out more at www.balancedrootsreiki.com or follow her podcast, Homeward Bound: Meditations for Motherhood.