10 Things I Wish Other New Moms Would Have Said Out Loud
I believe nothing can prepare you for motherhood.
There are classes to prepare you for birth. There are mom groups that have lots of advice. There are even parenting books that can offer nuggets of wisdom.
The reality is that each mom will have their own, unique experience. I equate parenthood to running a marathon. Sure, you know what you signed up for. You trained and prepared. Some friends even share pics of them with their medals on social media. What a lot is not shared about running a marathon is how hard it was, how gross it was, and how rewarding it is to go through it even though it is hard and gross.
Going through pregnancy, breastfeeding, and postpartum three times has taught me a lot, but what has been most impactful is when moms are authentic about their experiences.
So, here are a few things that moms have shared with me as well as a few tidbits on my own to pass on to other moms out there in hopes they can relate.
- Breastfeeding is natural, but it doesn’t necessarily come naturally. If it’s not easy, that is normal. You’re not doing anything WRONG. Seek out a lactation specialist if something feels off or not right and you want to continue to breastfeed.
- I did not lose a lot of hair, but my hair did change a LOT, and I miss it.
- Let your friends set up a meal train for you when you’re postpartum.
- If you plan to return to work after maternity leave, you need to contact daycares as soon as you learn your due date. I told daycare I was pregnant before I even told my family. If you don’t want to be on a waiting list, call now. Tour now.
- When you’re postpartum, make showering every day a priority. I know that sounds like a given, but in the throws of postpartum fog, it can be easy to skip. Don’t skip. You’ll feel like a new person after.
- If friends ask “how can I help?”–tell them. You’re not inconveniencing them. They are asking because they care. Let them fold clothes, wash dishes, clean your car, mop your floors, bring you food…anything you don’t feel like doing, let them do it.
- Put your pre-baby clothes out of sight. Find clothes that fit your body NOW–no use in shaming yourself for not “snapping back.”
- Move. Try to move each day. Even if that is stretching, pacing while you’re on a phone call, walking around the block….the more movement you can get, the better you will feel.
- You do not owe anyone, except your partner and your baby, anything. Obligated visits, never heard of her. Making sure you attend someone’s party because they came to yours–no. Don’t let anyone trick you into “use your baby as an excuse”, because truthfully, your baby is your reason.
- Ask for help when you need it. Take breaks when you need it. Parenthood is a marathon, not a sprint.
