A Father Fit for Fostering

A Father Fit for Fostering

I come here a lot to speak about our family’s foster journey and the ways I’m learning to navigate it. But with Father’s Day among us, I’d like to take this time to highlight the driving force behind our journey.

The truth behind our decision.

So, when we were dating, my husband and I had a million and one conversations about what our vision of our future family was. For me, I was entering our relationship as a single mom with a child from a previous situation. I always knew I wanted more children, I wasn’t sure how many, but I knew I wanted more and definitely wanted to give my future husband children of his own. My husband, on the other hand, always told me that he absolutely would like to have a biological child or two but he also felt that God always had plans for him to adopt and/or foster. It wasn’t a dealbreaker for me at all but it definitely wasn’t something that I ever put much thought into. Over the years, we balanced our options and eventually wound up pregnant. The first pregnancy ended quickly with a loss and then 6 or so months later we ended up pregnant again and welcomed our son. That pregnancy truly showed me how different it can be when you’re pregnant at 20 vs at 30. It rocked my world. From blood pressure issues in the 3rd trimester to passing out during delivery, I decided that I didn’t want to do that again. That felt like the most selfish decision. I had told my husband for the past 5 years that I would give him a minimum of 2-3 more children just to change my mind after the first one. But that man……he agreed with me and never once, not even to this day, did he ever try to change my mind.

The compromise

Once I decided that the shop was closed, I started to give more thought to his dreams of adopting or fostering. Fostering absolutely terrified me. We looked into adoption and while it wasn’t unattainable, he kept circling back to fostering. We prayed about it countless amount of times and at some point, my heart wouldn’t even allow me to explore adoption anymore. So I went to my husband and told him that I was ready. We decided when we felt was the best time to start classes, completed them, and got certified. The rest is history.

His first foster Father’s Day

I’ve always been in awe of how great of a father he is. Our daughter was 5 years old when we started dating. Once we got serious, he stepped right on up to the plate and you’d never think that she wasn’t his biologically. On our wedding day, with my gift that he had delivered to me in the bridal suite, he had adoption papers written up by our attorney. It was the most magical moment. Fast forward, we have our foster baby now and, I may be biased, but I feel like this little boy has the absolute best example of a daddy in the world right now. He’s the fun dad. He comes home every day from work, gets out of his work clothes into something comfy, and from there you can find him either playing on the living room floor or outside with the kids. Where he finds the energy is beyond me. Kids having a rough night? Count on him to get up through the night helping me to quiet this house back down. Mama needs a break? No questions asked, he’s manning the fort. I always knew he was a great dad, but watching him swoop in and be so attentive and caring to a child who came to us from a less than ideal situation has been truly eye opening in the best way. And on top of it all, while I’m sitting back admiring him in silence (I’m not the best at expressing myself in the moment) he makes sure to tell me, constantly, how in awe he is of me. So, I want to take this time to show my husband and express to him how much of a superhero he is. Not only to the kids, but to me. I know this is Lafayette Mom. But for some of us moms, the dads in our homes are our biggest cheerleaders and they deserve to be cheered for just as loud.