Mom, Interrupted

Mom, Interrupted

There is a specific quiet that only exists before sunrise. For moms, this early window is a coveted block of uninterrupted time, myself included. I look forward to this quiet time every day (even if it’s 4:00 AM). Although I have zero distractions, it is hard to remain focused when a glowing baby monitor sits in my peripheral vision, demanding me to return to duty at any second. 

If you have kids, you know the feeling. Most of our days never move in a straight line as moms; it is a giant, chaotic puzzle of moving pieces. We are perpetually interrupted, and a lot of the time, it comes unexpectedly. So how do we adjust to constant curveballs? 

Expect the Unexpected

For many of us, the hardest part of motherhood is the mental load. The term “mental load” has gained a lot of traction recently, and rightfully so. It takes a huge amount of energy to switch out of “mom mode” and into “focus mode.” When you finally get into that productive flow, having to instantly snap out of it because someone needs a snack or is crying is a literal shock to the nervous system.

I used to get deeply frustrated, upset, and impatient when my focus was broken. I wanted to finish what I started. But I had to learn — and am still very much learning — how to be okay with stopping mid-task.

Our children’s immediate needs are important. We want to respond to them right away. To do that without losing our minds, it can help to change our outlook on productivity.

Play “Schedule Tetris”

You cannot eliminate interruptions, but you can plan for them. I like to treat my daily to-do list like a game of Tetris.

Look at your child’s set schedule and try to time the expected interruptions. Anticipate when they will need a snack, a nap, or extra attention. Then, plan your tasks around those blocks of time. Even though this takes a little extra work upfront, having a loose plan can provide some much-needed structure. Also, align your heavy-focus tasks with their high-independence windows to create a better daily flow where there is less of a chance of getting interrupted.

Lower Your Expectations

I learned a while ago not to expect to complete a task in one go. I used to do chores or projects expecting a straight line from start to finish, but then I ended up resentful for the wrong reasons. 

Lower your expectations for how things get done. Break your tasks into bite-sized pieces that can survive several three-minute interruptions. 

Ride the Wave

At the end of the day, the needs are met. The bellies are full. The babies are rested.

It just didn’t happen in a neat, orderly fashion. It was all over the place. Our productivity as moms is scattered, looped, and fragmented, but somehow, we still manage to get it all done by bedtime.

Over time, your capacity to handle the demands of parenting expands. You naturally adjust to the unpredictability and learn to live with a higher tolerance for the messiness of everything.