The College Path Is Not The Only Path
For the majority of my motherhood, I pushed and pushed for my children and their friends to go to college. I thought them attending college was the absolute next step after high school. My husband and I were both of the mindset that, although we were not college graduates, it was the one path to success. It was very hard for me to pivot on that when my oldest son decided that college was not for him. I, unfortunately, did not listen and persuaded him to at least attend one semester.
He qualified for TOPS and received a partial academic scholarship, his grandmother had some “per semester money” set aside for him, and we had a college fund we started when he was a baby. So he did not have to take out any loans for that one semester. Off he went to Nicholls for college and at the end of the semester, he returned home and said he was not going back.
You see, he only went because I wanted him to go. He was burnt out from all the years in school and all of the activities he was involved in. When he returned home, he returned with books still unopened and a desire to enter the workforce. So I had to set aside what I thought was his dream, although it was really mine, and allow him to make his own decisions. I had to take a look at myself and realized I was living vicariously through him. I attended college when I was young, and then I allowed life to get in the way and I never finished. I became a mom and entered the workforce. I have always regretted not completing my degree, and I did not want my children to have the same regret.
He entered the workforce with no skills but had a desire to work.
There was a bumpy patch where he went from job to job, and it took a couple of years to find his footing. He worked at Wal-Mart. He worked in a deli. He worked as a cook in a restaurant and as a waiter in another restaurant. He was getting real life experience in the workforce. Then a former coach of his offered him a job at their electric supply business and it opened his eyes. My son had thrown around the idea of becoming an electrician but had not done any of the work to see if that was really what he wanted to do. When this job offer came, he was excited and accepted the offer to work in the warehouse. After a year or so, he decided that he would return to school, but this time at SLCC, to get his certifications to start his journey of becoming an electrician. He continued to work during the day and attended the program in the evenings. It took him a little over 6 months to complete the program, and he now had the certifications and a little knowledge under his belt to fulfill his desire of working in the electrical field.
My oldest son has now been working for an electrical company for over a year and still comes by at least once a week with a story about what he learned that day.
He is excited to go to work and always learning new things in his trade of choice. I love that he found a different path in spite of what my dream was for him. Seeing that he is able to have a fulfilling life without a degree has allowed me to be more open when speaking with my youngest son and also when talking with kids in my village who are contemplating their next step after high school. We still continue to contribute to the college fund, but we also let our youngest know that he can choose whatever path is best for him, that he can take his time and find his way by trying different things when the time comes. I see that there is more than one path after high school and that all kids should be set up to make their own informed decisions about their futures.
