Say Goodbye to Burnout!

Say Goodbye to Burnout!

As a therapist, I love when people come to therapy looking for healthier coping skills. One of the seasons I see this request most is during a school break! Every major holiday, or break, our nervous system calms down and finds peace again. Many of us struggle with burnout and we feel relief from work/life when there is a break. What we do not realize is the tired feeling every day is not normal, but instead a symptom of burnout.

Here is what I hear :: burnout sessions

• I’m always tired
• I’m not understood
• My wheels are always spinning with no forward movement
• No one ever repairs their relationship
• I’ll always be the workhorse because no one follows through

These are just a few examples, (not direct quotes), of people missing connection and experiencing burnout.

Here is what I hope you take away :: burnout won’t win

Every person in their career of choice, at one point or another, will become overwhelmed. When we do not address overwhelm, we experience a compounded struggle and gradually find ourselves in burnout.

Here is what I want you to notice

There is a difference between ‘recovering’ from your day vs ‘winding down’ from your day. Recovery is what we engage in when we have been in strenuous efforts/activities. Winding down is when our day has been full of energy and efforts we can handle. Most people have heard the statement “If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.” But research focused towards work culture and burnout would say otherwise.

According to Amy Blankson, founder and CEO of Positive Digital Culture, “In our ‘always on’ culture, we struggle with digital boundaries,” especially when we feel love our work, she explained. “More than 50% of U.S. employees feel like they have to check their email after 11 pm to keep up with work. As a result, burnout is on the rise and engagement is decreasing.”

Recovery turned winding down :: an active practice!

We need to begin focusing on the body as the subject, not the object. Each of the statements that I wrote don’t mean someone MUST BE burnout, it is simply what I hear often. Below I am including some practices I suggest to people throughout sessions. I hope you give these a try; they will help you reflect and teach you new ways to cope. When people say “I just can’t calm down.” I want to say – no duh! But instead I say, “I totally get it.” Then, we dive into the why and begin incorporating small shifts in effort.

-Name 3 Things you notice about yourself.
-Identify at least 2 people who know you well.
-What about yourself needs protecting?
-Write out what you can do to support yourself.

Notice exercise: The practice of noticing is to bring awareness without judgement.

Identifying people: When people know us well, we can be vulnerable or communicate without fear of judgement.

Protecting: A funny green ogre said it best once upon a time, we all have layers. Try figuring out what within you needs protecting.

Writing: Putting pen to paper can be an incredible challenge and it can help you make a plan for you to follow when you are overwhelmed. Think checklist, but with care!

Burnout? In the past!

Each of these exercises are meant to help support your daily efforts back to calm. Work will not get better, school won’t get easier, children and family responses won’t change all that much; but your response will. Each time something in your wheel of life flairs up, what do you do right now?

Most people go to an unintentionally bad coping skill. It’s the next best step you could take when you were stressed, but now it can no longer serve you. So when you are not in active stress, notice something about yourself or your surroundings. Think of the people you could be vulnerable with for a moment, how do you feel? When you think back on that big fight, what within you needs protecting? And when you can, start a new note in your phone or keep a notepad by your bed with small actions you will and can do in to support yourself. Work on training your brain to pick a new coping skill!

Keep going, you can do this!