Disclosure :: This post is sponsored by Ochsner Lafayette General as a retroactive storytelling of one mom’s experience with compassionate care. The story within contains intimate details about pregnancy and infant loss, which could be triggering to some readers. If you have suffered a similar loss, please know that you are not alone. Pregnancy loss is sadly not uncommon, and we are here to weather the storm alongside you as needed. There are several organizations in the Southern Louisiana area to help as well.
The Story of My Miscarriage :: Why Compassionate Medical Care Matters
In 2014, under the care of Dr. Daniel Bourque and Dr. Nicole Harper, I was able to conceive a baby via an IUI procedure. My husband and I were so excited; we were only newly married in January of 2013, but we were ready to be parents.
The pregnancy was progressing along beautifully and we were able to pass the 12 week mark, so I was very confident that this was finally going to happen for me AND for us. However, the next appointment would prove to be the most unbelievable and surreal experience I could have ever gone through. I was 16 weeks and 3 days pregnant and we were set to do the gender reveal that day. I already knew in my heart he was a boy. My husband and I were both excited to find out the gender, but God had a different plan. The ultrasound tech called the doctor in and, as I could easily see, she was visibly shaken. She proceeded to tell us that there was no heartbeat. My dreams, my plans, my future, my little baby … had stopped growing inside of me. My life was turned upside-down in that very moment. I cried out so loud that the people in the waiting room were in tears. I was in shock and disbelief, so I asked for a second ultrasound and was granted that request by the high risk doctor who I was supposed to see at 20 weeks. And yet again there was no heartbeat. I was given a choice to go home and let nature take its course or go to Ochsner Lafayette General Medical Center the next morning to deliver my precious sleeping baby. I chose the hospital setting, and it was the best decision I could have made under the circumstances. Of course, no one wants to be given that choice at all.
My husband and I arrived at 5:30am to prepare for delivery. As we checked in, the warmth and compassion I was greeted with were utterly amazing. The front desk staff, the nurses and the doctors were all so very kind and soft. I was still in disbelief about what was happening, and I requested yet another ultrasound which I was granted. Unfortunately, it was still the same outcome so we proceeded with the plan to start the meds to induce labor. I wanted to deliver my baby whole so that I could see and hold him.
Labor started at 8:30am and then at 3:20pm Alejandro Isaiah Negrete was born sleeping. The nurse on duty told me he was a boy, but I already knew that in my heart. During the course of the day, I was treated so well and so kindly, not as a woman having a miscarriage, but as a woman who was giving birth to her child. That was such a huge deal for me because I was in so much pain and anguish and yet I was being treated so well. I was kept well informed on the progress of my labor throughout the process. When my son arrived we were able to take photos with him. We were also moved to another room and able to spend the night with him. During the course of the day the staff and doctors did tests and drew blood; they all were determined to find an answer for us as to why this happened, as to why my son stopped growing. They just were going above and beyond for us to try to give us answers that any desperate parent would want. This was so meaningful to us, and it showed me that they were a team of caregivers that truly, genuinely cared.
We were also introduced to the local organization, Maddie’s Footprints, which helps grieving parents make the necessary arrangements. This literally blew me away when the social worker came in and told me that they would help us with all of this. This gift allowed us to spend the next 24 hours with our son and say our goodbyes to our sleeping angel as opposed to worrying about what to do next.
The compassion, the warmth, the knowledgeable and very caring staff, doctors, and everyone who helped in room 207 at Ochsner Lafayette General Medical Center will forever be embedded in my heart and in my soul. The staff helped me to give birth to our sleeping angel Alejandro Isaiah and gave me the best care during our time of grief. Although we had to leave without our son in our arms, my husband and I were able to leave knowing that the staff did everything they could for us. Compassionate care matters so much when you are experiencing a miscarriage or other traumatic event.
A special thank you to Ochsner Lafayette General Medical Center and all the staff for the compassionate care that we received during this time. May God bless you all.
Sincerely, The Negretes
