I used to be a cool girl.
I don’t say that to be boastful, I say it in a bittersweet, longing, past-tense sense.
From an early age (around 14 through college), I worked in clothing boutiques. Honestly, I earned a paycheck and always handed almost every penny right back to the store owners. I was on top of every trend, always popping tags off of new items, and I was always asked where I bought my clothes. My nails were always done, my hair always styled and healthy. I can still fondly remember what it was like to take my time on a full face of makeup.
Now?
Now, I’m an “uncool” mom.
You can find me at the sale aisles. What’s most comfortable? I’ve carried the same purse for almost 5 years now. And hats? They aren’t a fashion statement for me. They’re an easy way to hide the fact that I probably haven’t had the time to wash my hair (because I chose to use my time washing theirs instead of my own).
And as for popping tags? Thrifting is my love language. I am not above garage sales.
- My “cool” got thrown out a little at a time along with the diapers.
- It went down the drain when I was rinsing nugget-dipping-ketchup off of cartoon character plates.
- Wiped off as I cleaned the spit-up off of my shoulder in public.
- Worn away as I put on the same leggings….again.
I am not cool anymore. I’m JUST a mom in this phase of life that I’m in. “Cool” doesn’t matter when I’m rocking babies, when I’m reading to them, when we play outside, when I hear their laughter. My babies don’t understand “cool” right now, and I am so grateful that they love me no matter my makeup, hair, or clothing. They love me because I’m their mom – and that is so much more than enough.
One day, I won’t be so busy raising tiny, dependent babies. I’ll get out of the house and be reacquainted with adult socialization. I’ll try harder to be more “cool”, more fit, more on trend. More everything.
But for now, I’m happy just being a baseball cap, legging, and graphic-tee-wearing mom.
For my babies, it’s been an honor to have lost my cool.
“Cool” can always come back. It comes and it goes along with those trends.
The days with our babies can’t “come and go”. They only keep going until they’ve passed us by.
Keep your cool if you can, but I’m perfectly happy without mine for now. My heart is more full than ever.
