I’ve always felt a little awkward. Perhaps it was the bifocals at age 2, the freckles, or the patch I had to wear on my eye to correct the lazy eye (Yep, yo-ho, I was a 3 year old pirate). Being an introvert on top of that has led to a lifetime of working at being social.
I guess this feeling is common for most introverts. Our world is built for extroverts and when you’re not an extrovert, there is often a feeling of being “other than.”
But through pregnancy, there was an initiation into this exclusive club. The experience was intoxicating. It was quite lovely for me, though I do realize that it wasn’t that way for everyone.
Everyone is nice to pregnant people. They offer chairs and ask sweet questions about you and your growing bundle of joy.
Then, there is a short period after you have the baby that all the help and connectiveness in the world is there for you.
Slowly but surely, that help and connectiveness can start to dwindle.
This has never been so apparent to me as it is now that we have entered toddlerhood. It is a lonely place.
Perhaps this is just the nature of life. People get busy and immersed in their own drama and needs. We can become myopic and stop seeing the needs of other mothers all around us.
I was at an indoor play place and a sweet woman and her 2 kids were looking around, panicked as she held a pizza and her kids jumped all over her. There were no free tables. And no one was making eye contact with her. So, I told her “you can sit with me.” Her response was “really?”
Yes. Yes, really. Of course you can sit with me. I know what it’s like to search the room to for a friendly face only to see everyone immersed in their own clique. I know what it’s like to sit outside with your kiddo and hope that the group of moms across the way will invite you over to sit with them.
Of course you can sit with me.
When did we stop taking care of each other?
Each of us who belongs to the “Motherhood Club” knows what it’s like to struggle. If you are the perfect mother and find each day filled with ease … well, you’re lying! This is hard work, raising tiny humans. We need each other!
To do my part, I’m taking a personal pledge. When I am in a social situation, I will take a leap and invite someone to sit with me. I want to be inclusive. This exclusive crap that’s been going on in the world is for the birds.
It would be beautiful to see a group of mothers that only grows bigger, stronger, and more inclusive with each day.
Our children will be learning by example. So, instead of saying that our table is full, let’s build a bigger table.
So, yes, you can sit with me. You can always sit with me.
I love this! As a new Mom who moved with a 2 week old last summer, I’m completely with you we need to be more inclusive as mothers!
Absolutely!
Oh my gosh I had the bifocals and eye patch too!!! You are my people. Pretty sure they did nothing for me though.
lol, the bifocals and the patch are quite character building!
Oh, this is such a touching article. It’s hard when you feel invisible, and it sure feels good when you feel like someone finally sees you. I’ll take the pledge! Thanks for writing!
Thank you for reading! And thanks for taking the pledge 🙂