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Bonnets and Babies :: Why I Chose to Wait
Hair bonnets have become a staple for parents who want to keep their little ones’ coils untangled and friction-free at night. It’s easy to see why: hair loss can happen from placing a child on their back for safe sleep, and babies look adorable in them.
In the Black community especially, bonnets are more than practical — they’re cultural. Our hair often requires careful regimens to retain length and preserve styles, and bonnets have been part of our tradition.
I wear a bonnet every night myself and swear by it to keep my waist-length hair tucked away. So, when my now–9-year-old was an infant, one of my first purchases was a Minnie Mouse baby bonnet. She looked so cute, and I thought I had done everything right — safe sleep, proper fit, and all.
For a few months, everything seemed fine. But one night, I bolted upright in a panic and saw her in the bassinet beside my bed — her bonnet was covering her face completely. I removed it as quickly as I could. I felt panicky yet relieved. Thankfully, my maternal instinct kicked in and she was okay, but the sight of her tiny face hidden under her hair bonnet was enough.
That night changed everything. From then on, I decided to forgo bonnets, at least during the baby and toddler years.
Safety Context
When I recently reconsidered bonnets for my girls, I did my research first. Fortunately, hair bonnets themselves are not a documented suffocation hazard.
Still, suffocation is one of the leading causes of death in babies under one. In 2019, a Safe Kids Worldwide survey on children ages 0–5 revealed that three out of four suffocation deaths happened in bed — often linked to unsafe sleep practices like soft bedding, stomach sleeping, or wedging between surfaces.
Even though bonnets aren’t tied to these risks, my personal experience of seeing my daughter’s face covered was enough to delay their use in my home.
My Parenting Choice
I want to be clear: this was my choice, not a judgment on other parents. I understand why some use bonnets on infants. But for me, the memory of that night outweighed the benefits.
I went bonnet-free for more than eight years. I knew my kids’ hair would face frizz, tangles, and rougher edges — but that tradeoff felt safer.
It wasn’t until my nine-year-old asked me for her own bonnet (after watching me wear mine every night) that I reconsidered. Once I agreed for her, I extended the option to her younger sisters, now 7 and almost 5. My reasoning was simple: at their ages, they’re able to remove a bonnet themselves if it slips.
When I gave them their bonnets, I explained the risks, showed them how to take one off if it shifted, and emphasized that wearing a bonnet was a choice — not a requirement.
The Transition Back to Bonnets
Now, bonnets have become part of our nightly routine. We frame them as self-care and healthy hair practice, not something mom insists on. My girls enjoy choosing their hair styles and bonnets; it makes hair-time and bedtime a little more fun.
Bonnet Options
If you’re considering bonnets for your little ones, think about fit, material, cost, and brand:
Handmade options: Some small businesses, like Kradle Kare in Texas, sell handmade baby bonnets. Note: you may be able to find local handmade bonnets near you.- Mommy & Me sets: Brands like Bask and Lather offer matching bonnets for moms and kids. Warning: these matching sets sell out quickly and are currently unavailable.
- Budget-friendly multipacks: As for me, I went the frugal route — a simple multipack on Amazon (Pictured above). They aren’t double-lined like higher-end bonnets, but the stitching is solid, and each of my girls has a favorite color and print. Bonus: these came with satin scrunchies as well.
The Takeaway
My decision to delay bonnets wasn’t about rejecting them, but about making the choice that felt safest for my children at different stages. It isn’t a universal rule.
I encourage parents to trust their instincts, stay informed, and make choices that balance safety, hair care, and cultural traditions.
I’d love to hear from you — do you use bonnets for your kids? Did you start early, or wait until they were older? What worked best for your family? If you use bonnets, what are your favorite brands?
